Walkabout
August 4, 2025
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Sometimes disruption is an opportunity.
2025 began with total disruption - unwelcome and unwanted. I was grappling with new realities of my beloved and aging parents. Our immediate family had not one, but two serious cancer diagnoses that resulted in months of prayers as treatments and surgeries followed. And I became unhoused and uprooted when, in crisis, I fled my home in Altadena as it burned in the Eaton Firestorm. Disruption in every direction - internal, external, relational, geographical, psychological… I took a leave of absence from my work as a Pastor of Missional Outreach to assess the quicksand-feeling of a landscape that I was in: I had a fun and loving community. I had a job that was meaningful but also taxing. I had no debt, no lease, no rental contract, no prospective romantic interest, no kids.
Sometimes we return and rebuild, sometimes we release and risk towards the new.
A pivot was coming.
Pragmatically, my whole idea of a “walkabout” is completely impractical. Quit your job and buy a one-way ticket to Africa?! Nevertheless, I ended my work as a Pastor in June of 2025 without another job lined up. Contrary to how it looks, I don't actually just throw caution to the wind! I went through all the capitalist questions. It wasn’t easy to drop my one security (job) with its paycheck, benefits and retirement savings. I wondered if I was being fiscally irresponsible to leave a gap in my resume and live off savings. Perhaps, but my metric doesn’t place money nor position as my highest value right now. I wandered through the competency questions- was I failing or unfit for pastoral work in some way? But the truth of the matter rang out in my heart - I am capable. I am choosing to leave for the better. Giving myself permission was the hardest part, to put myself first. By nature and by default I am a Caregiver- of people, relationships, a steward of what I’ve been given. To give myself permission to care for myself in the form of adventure is beautiful.
It seemed in Pasadena I kept trying towards the “Universal Family Plan” (House-with-a-picket-fence/gorgeous-romantic-partner/kiddos/athletics-and-music-events) and it simply never worked out for me. And so I decided to give myself to the opposite.
Instead of being responsible, I’m taking a risk. Stop consumerism, adopt minimalism. Instead of striving for upward mobility (in position/wealth/status), I’ll be downwardly mobile (anonymous/poor/unknown). Instead of centering America, I’ll center the 2/3 Globe. Uprooted not planted, slow not speedy, wandering not rebuilding, spending not saving. I’m choosing experiences over things, the journey without knowing the destination or having a timeline. Which means I’m comfortable with mystery instead of control and looking foolish instead of smart. No partner?- I’ll go solo. Literally no belongings or home? - I’ll carry a backpack. America is being arrogant and bullying? - I’ll go find a humbler people; there is life beyond American Exceptionalism. Accomplishments? - let me earn zero credits and muddle through without anything to show for it. Let’s see if my desires lead to purpose instead of vise-versa.
All the while, praying that maybe I’ll find my life instead of losing it.
Love, Beth
#44 days into Walkabout
1 Wedding, 1 Baptism, 1 Goat Roast, 1 Coffee Farm Tour
2 Bike Rides
7 Preaches (!)
10 Bible Classes Taught
8 different lodgings
1 nasty head cold!!
Walkabout Way: June - July: Tanzania, August: Ethiopia & South Africa
You can support the journey here: https://www.bethpaz.com/support